Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Merry *&^%$#@ Christmas

The Scene: A cosy warm sitting room. All the lights are off in the room and a fire is roaring in the big stone fire place. An old man wrapped in a shawl sits in a rocking chair while a young man sits at his feet. Outside the snow is blowing hard around the window.

Young Man - "Grandad, tell me more about this "company morale" thing you talk so fondly about.

Grandad - "Well, back in my day, when employees did a good job the managers of that same company used to walk around and actually praise them for doing a good job!"

YM - "Wow! These days you're just expected to do more work."

G - "Well, back in my day, a company would be so happy for the hard work you do for them every year that they'd actually share some of the profits from that year!"

YM - "Wow! These days they just tell you to be happy you get a pay-cheque!"

G - "Well, back in my day they'd throw a big Christmas party for all the staff and their spouses as a thank you."

YM - "Wow! These day's they just let you go home early on Christmas Eve if it doesn't interfere with productivity."

G - "Well, back in my day people wanted to show up for work and do the best job they could do because they knew the company appreciated it."

YM - "Wow! Now people show up for work in the morning dreading what the day will bring and how many problems they can fit on their shoulders before they have a complete and total mental breakdown!"

G - "Wow! Shitty being you!"

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Apparently Winter is a New Experience for Most

I commute. Every weekday. 180kms a day to and from work. I am one of many that do this. The city I live in is a bedroom community for a much larger city to the south east. There is a major highway that connects the two cities and many, many, MANY people use that highway. The province I live in is renowned the world over (probably not but don't interrupt) for getting much snow during our winter months. It has been this way for eons.

"Between the months of October and April there will be much snow falling like leaves upon the unsuspecting citizenry below" - God, quite some time ago.

So why is it such a shock for most of the vehicular lemmings that there was snow on the ground this morning? And what is in the water supply that makes long-term memory such a rare commodity?

"You know, I have a vague recollection of some moist, wet white substance lying on the ground at some point about 12 months ago. I also recall that driving became less safe as a result." - An Idiot, this morning.

On a good day, in the middle of, lets say, July, my drive into work takes about 50 minutes +/- 5 minutes. Today it was 2-1/2 hours because there were far too much 1) morons 2) pin-heads 3) moronic pin-heads driving their vehicles into ditchs because the moronic pin-head in front of them suddenly jammed the brakes on to avoid the moronic pin-head steering their vehicle into the bumper of the moronic pin-head talking on the cell phone to their aunt in Florida about the mysterious moist, wet white substance that wasn't on the road yesterday and is making the drive less safe.

Time to get my rotary-wing license and fly above them.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Another viewpoint

Since I can't seem to find the time or brainpower to maintain this thing on my own, I've invited my politically conservative brother and my politically inert friend to become members. Well, it was more like I mutinied Kev by lifting his comments from my music blog. It was a little out of place there, but perfect for the 'Obstacle.

I wonder if ol' Big K still feels this way now that the Canadian general election is set for January 23rd. Hey, I think it's a great time of year for an election -- what the hell else have you got to do in Canada in the middle of January? Other than the obvious...

1. Stick tongue on frozen metal flagpole; marvel at your own stupidity.
2. Go carp about the government with your single buddies at Tim Horton's. No married guy is allowed to do this. Or wants to.
3. Go tobogganing and rupture your spleen.
4. Drink copious quantities of beer until you pass out. Marvel at your own stupidity.
5. Watch the Leafs lose another crucial game, then go home to their wives, children and Scrooge McDuck-sized money bins to cry themselves to sleep, using $100's as tissue paper.

As you can see, there are limited options in this country in the dead of winter.

Here's K's post from October:

So parliament has resumed, and Stephen Harper, AKA the devil, has gone to bat for all you sorry Canadians who think he's some redneck Albertan with a hidden agenda. Well, that's what uncle Paul and the Libranos wish for you to believe.

Satan, also known as Stephen Harper to most, has requested that the government actually give Canadians some relief at the gas pumps. He asked when this government is going to end its "100 days of inaction" and actually cut fuel taxes.

As if. . . .

Both the PM and Ralph 'Acceptable Beer' (Goodale) have both predictably pooh-poohed the idea. Goodale said that since "complexities and volatility were at play," any tax break would become invisible, by which he meant taxation issues are better left to the "natural governing party", the Liberals, the approved experts in spending other people's money.

The Liberals. You keep voting them back in because Stephen Harper or Mike Harris or Brian Mulroney are incarnations of the devil. You listen so closely to the liberal media who tell you this, and refuse to think for yourselves. At least, that's the way I see us here in Canada.

It's my belief that even if there are some problems with the Conservatives, the Liberals need to spend some time in the political wilderness to get their act back together. Justin Trudeau said this back in June. They need to be given the boot from parliament rather than have us put them back in AGAIN. Don't even go elsewhere ; the socialists and the far left are a much worse choice than heading over to the right ever so slightly.

Back to the point I was trying to make : Would someone please tell me why Stephen Harper has such a bad reputation with Canadians? Everything I have heard him say makes sense to me, and should make sense to almost every Canadian. Anyone who thinks we cannot afford a tax cut in this country would be well advised to track down the size of the federal surpluses in each of the past ten consecutive years. Funding the military adequately does not necessarily line up with George Bush's neocon aggression seen in Iraq and Afghanistan. But as soon as Stevie H. says he'd spend a few bucks on our dilapidated military, he's automatically in bed with George Bush.

End political rant.