Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Apparently Winter is a New Experience for Most

I commute. Every weekday. 180kms a day to and from work. I am one of many that do this. The city I live in is a bedroom community for a much larger city to the south east. There is a major highway that connects the two cities and many, many, MANY people use that highway. The province I live in is renowned the world over (probably not but don't interrupt) for getting much snow during our winter months. It has been this way for eons.

"Between the months of October and April there will be much snow falling like leaves upon the unsuspecting citizenry below" - God, quite some time ago.

So why is it such a shock for most of the vehicular lemmings that there was snow on the ground this morning? And what is in the water supply that makes long-term memory such a rare commodity?

"You know, I have a vague recollection of some moist, wet white substance lying on the ground at some point about 12 months ago. I also recall that driving became less safe as a result." - An Idiot, this morning.

On a good day, in the middle of, lets say, July, my drive into work takes about 50 minutes +/- 5 minutes. Today it was 2-1/2 hours because there were far too much 1) morons 2) pin-heads 3) moronic pin-heads driving their vehicles into ditchs because the moronic pin-head in front of them suddenly jammed the brakes on to avoid the moronic pin-head steering their vehicle into the bumper of the moronic pin-head talking on the cell phone to their aunt in Florida about the mysterious moist, wet white substance that wasn't on the road yesterday and is making the drive less safe.

Time to get my rotary-wing license and fly above them.


K_R_Raven said...

Moronic pinheads are not in short supply on the motorways elsewhere in the province, either. Even though there is little snow here in northern Ontario, the mall season is upon us, and panicked shoppers are only too eager to cut off those who might be seeking the same gifts for their loved ones.

The Christmas spirit, sorry if I have offended anyone, does not exist when there are purchases to be made. Wow, even I'm getting sucked in to the politically correct terms. Yeee-ikes!!

Why snow presents such a great challenge at first appearance each season is a baffling phenomenon to me. As Lister has so eloquently put it, it has been thus since time immemorial. Perhaps our latest immigrants should be required to take driving lessons instead of French lessons.

Maybe a VTOL (vertical take off lift) personal aircraft isn't such a bad idea after all. Difficult to fit under the tree, but sure to keep those commute times consistent no matter what the weather!!

Corvid said...

How was this morning's drive, then? More O' The Same?

(Irish Patron Saint of Predictability)

Wow, Kev - we're on the site at the exact same time... You owe me a Coke!

Corvid said...

Oh, I remember what I wanted to say. Being surprised by the ferocity of winter's annual return is like catching the highly dedicated teenage minimum-wage workers at Tim Horton's off-guard by asking for a coffee.

"What? We don't have any of this.. cof.. Ee? Is that what you called it..? Any muffins or doughnuts with that... stuff you ordered?"

Miloj Gack! said...

Today's drive was exceptional. 3 hours. I'm aghast at the sheer "quality" of drivers out there. AGHAST I say. I'm glad automatic weapons are illegal 'cause I'm sure I'd be using it today.
Taka taka taka taka taka!!!! Here's some! Taka taka! Here's some more!! Taka taka taka!

Lawrence said...

I live in the land of the over-turned car and truck, better known as New Jersey. Believe me, I agree with all your points on today's driver. Everyone is in such a gosh darned hurry, yakking on their cell phone, driving too fast and willy nilly to boot. And this not only occurs during clear weather and wet, but also when their is white stuff on the ground. I hate driving.

Corvid said...

Should've seen the overturned SUV's on (or rather, off) the highway the other day during a bout of freezing rain... Poetic justice for driving like a boozed-up brain-dead NASCAR fan, or a cutting-room floor scene from the Fast & The Furious.