Monday, July 10, 2006

New, Content?

Fer sure, dudes. Figgered it's 'bout time to fire up the brain with some recently clipped news headlines for the attention-deficient in all of us:

MAN CONSUMES SELF, DISAPPEARS

WORLD CUP IS OVER. NOW I CAN GET ON WITH MY LIFE - WATCHING TV

CANADA TO TERRORISTS: "COME ON IN! HOPE YOU LIKE CAVIAR AND SATIN SHEETS!"

CONSERVATIVE PLATFORM MUCH LIKE OLD LIBERAL PLATFORM, ONLY LESS FACIAL DEFORMITY

KILLER BEES REACH IDAHO, NO ONE NOTICES 'CEP'N FER JIMMY

IT INDUSTRY STILL A HOUSE OF CARDS, WARNS HOMELESS VAGRANT

BUSH TO REVEAL 9/11 WAS "PRACTICAL JOKE" - MAY ISSUE APOLOGY

MIDDLE EAST A "SHITHOLE", NOTHING LEFT WORTH FIGHTING OVER

SELMA BLAIR AND JEREMY IRONS TO STAR IN "EXORCIST 7 - THE FUCKENING"

PARIS HILTON EXPOSES... AW, WHO GIVES A RAT'S ASS?

JIM BEAM WAS ACTUALLY JOHNNIE WALKER, LIQUOR INDUSTRY IN A TIZZY

4 comments:

K_R_Raven said...

OR... Rita MacNeil contracts flesh-eating disease, Doctors only give her several more years to live.

Kim Il Dong of North Korea mad as hell at America for not sending US troops his way. More missile tests scheduled until he can provoke a US military reaction.

Natives in Caledonia set OPP cruisers ablaze after new OPP motto, "to observe and neglect" adopted today.

Muslims around the world ululating in the streets after alleged terror attack in Mumbai. - CBC news

Guess there haven't been any REAL terrorist attacks ever, only alleged ones.

And finally, in entertainment ......
Producers accept a writer's guild script for "Friends, the Motion Picture". Filming expected to start in late fall 2006. None of the original cast have been approached about revisiting their familiar roles in the long running series.

Miloj Gack! said...

I just read something that fits this thread.

"The fundamental problem with being poor is that you don't have enough money."

This from the President of the Teachers College.

LEAD THOSE YOUTH, OH BRILLIANT ONE!

What's next?

"Scientists theorize that darkness is caused by the total lack of light."

K_R_Raven said...

I think Jimmy Langdon would take exception with that last item. "It's heresy I tells ya! Jim Beam ain't Johnny Walker in the name 'a blazes!!

Miloj Gack! said...

Is there the implied threat of "going at you with a shovel" in there somewhere?